and so must his evil cousins living in Maine and dining on my garden.
Based on my quick perusal of Wikipedia, I have determined the groundhog plays no important role in the natural world, and thus extinction is the best option to protect the gardens and sanity of gardeners everywhere. Kelly, bring your gun, and I’ll cook us up some fine groundhog.
I cannot even begin to express the irony of this evil event. Last night Dan and I watched one of my favorite movies, Groundhog Day. (I love Bill Murray in this, and most movies; he can say more with one word and a look than Brad Pitt or Tom Cruise combined.)
And then this morning, on my way out to see the girlswith some overripe pineapple, I saw the evil rodent in the chicken yard. And then saw where he had clawed his way under the garden fence. I threw the container of pineapple at him, but missed dammit, and he escaped under the chicken yard fence. Thus commenced my tour of the vegetable garden and much extremely foul language. He sampled much, and devoured his personal favorite, the parsley. I hate this animal with a passion normally reserved only for the most loathsome of creatures, “W” and his puppet masters Cheney and Rove.
I am so dispirited. The evil rodent went through 2 fences, and managed to do it the day after I removed the floating row covers from the brassicas so they could get a good soaking rain last night in preparation for weeding today. It is almost enough to make me throw up my hands in despair. I don’t know how to keep him out. AUGHHHHHHHHHH!
The devastation:
Romaine lettuce, just reaching maturity
Broccoli, just beginning to form heads
Green cabbage, and he got the purple, too
Parsley, a key ingredient in one of my favorite salad dressings, Buttermilk Ranch.
I need a gun.
June 23, 2008 at 2:27 pm
It’s payback, you know. Ground hogs around the country are pissed because we drag one of them out of a warm hidey hole, shake it until it wakes up from hibernation, shine a light in its face and scream, “Can you see me now???” Of course he can’t see, it has a light shining in its eyes! So they’ve banded together and the little bastards are eating our gardens. I let the dogs take care of them.
If you were closer I’d come pop him off for you. Kelly could have my share of the meal. If ground hog is on the menu I’m temporarily vegetarian. Good luck! Oh Hey! Have you seen the game Whack A Mole? You could start charging neighborhood kids to play Whack A Hog!
June 23, 2008 at 8:42 pm
He must be the Maine cousin to the one in my backyard. At least you can (?) use a gun on yours — not an option here. Try the hot red pepper solution — sprinke those red hot flakes on all those greens. If you can locate his burrow — toss in an old tennis ball soaked in amonia (please forgive my spelling) — or where he is coming in under your fence – some used kitty litter, including the “clumps”, may have him considering an alternative garden. By the way, mine prefers daisies to tomatoes, which are the only veg I grow, but it is equally devastating to the flower beds.
June 23, 2008 at 8:50 pm
Groundhog probably tastes delicious. Eat him. With some parsley. That will teach him!
It really is a terribly frustrating thing! I feel for you.
June 23, 2008 at 9:28 pm
You must be devastated and sick at heart. Are you going to try some of the bloggers ideas? It`s awfull beyond words.
June 24, 2008 at 12:06 am
Oh, he is an evil one! Strongly scented soap is supposed to deter rabbits from munching in the garden — I’m not sure if that would work for groundhogs or not? I hope you find a solution!
June 24, 2008 at 7:53 am
Ohhhhh :-( :-( but ah, ha ha ha ha! The pictures are devastating but you are FUNNY! I’m so sorry you have this evil beast lurking about – that must have been a horrible moment when you went to the garden to assess the damage. Can you set up one of those metal traps used to catch squirrels and such? Sorry, Ali…I hope you get to eat some of your bounty this season.
June 24, 2008 at 8:14 am
I feel so bad for you, all that work, lost. Last year it was bunnies for me. I heard if you fold chicken wire at the bottom of your fence and extend it out on the ground by a foot or so, it is supposed to prevent digging.
June 24, 2008 at 2:35 pm
I have been THERE!!! It is terrible. I am so sorry. Dont give up on the parsley yet though. Leave them alone and keep watering. They will come back. We have something — a bunny or a groundhog that ate ALL of our cabbage, parsely, (picture on our blog http://weekendfarmer.blogspot.com) mustard greens, radishes (seeds brougt from Japan), and now eating the carrots! I am thinking about trapping him/her soon. I was so sad – I didnt go to the garden for a month. Ah well..Atleast you have an identified intruder. I dont even know whats eating ours.
June 24, 2008 at 6:25 pm
Oh my! That’s just terrible! And the worst is that the evil beast didn’t just devastate one plant, but browsed along and munched on every plant and it’s leaves. Ugh! If only the dang critter would play nice and take just one, then it might not be so painful to share. But he’s just distructive. It’s like in Dances With Wolves where they came in a shot all of the bison and just left their bodies rotting in the sun. So wasteful!
If I had a gun I’d give it to you.
It’s to bad they don’t make traps like the old fashioned mouse traps for groundhogs. It would be extremely satisfying to find that groundhog caught dead in one of them!
June 24, 2008 at 9:00 pm
Hey A,
According to Aunt Edna, groundhog is greasy. Perhaps that’s the signal to grill it?
When we put the used kitty litter down its hole, it moved to a better spot under the evil neighbor’s porch. . .
Let me know if I should pester Auntie for recipes!
O.
June 24, 2008 at 9:57 pm
Just give me the word and we’ll call it dinner. I agree with you about Bill Murray; his talent as an actor is far more complex than the funny man label he has had to bear since SNL and Caddy Shack.
June 25, 2008 at 12:50 am
Love your blog and your sense of humor. I have dealt with the varmints in several ways. You can try a noose trap at his hole, I did this once and caught one and just buried him in his hole. Ask around and you may find some local hunters who would love to sit and wait for the rascal to show and then you will have new friends and also your garden back. I am really not a killer, but sometimes we have to do what we have to do! I’ll bet you can find some good recipes, and we would all love to hear about that!
June 26, 2008 at 8:50 am
Oh, I do understand your sentiments! I was feeling quite murderous last summer, and I’m a devoted wildlife gardener as well as vegetable gardener.
Woodchucks can eat SO much, and in dry weather, LOVE our gardens. I learned way more than I wanted to know about woodchuck foraging preferences. I had no success with expensive repellents, homemade versions, etc., but, on a recommendation from a fellow biologist friend, I’ve had excellent results using a Havahart trap with a woodchuck bait called ‘Chuckster’ with drops of woodchuck lure (obtained at WildlifeControlSupplies.com) leading to the trap. In three cases, one at home and 2 at work, we nabbed the perpetrator(s) with a single try (overnight) and relocated them some miles away in grassy areas.
Good luck!
http://naturalgardening.blogspot.com/2008/04/woodchuck-relocated.html